The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
