Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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