you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
