if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
