Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
