I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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