i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
