I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
