I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
