the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
