By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
