I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
