I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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