Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
