There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
