so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize