youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
