yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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