the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
