Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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