i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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