Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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