it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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