that's an acceptable place to lick
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
