people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
