So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
