hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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