It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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