garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
