He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
