I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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