Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
