if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
