I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
