The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
