the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
