Pappa wants mamma naked
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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