Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my being single is dangerous.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
