dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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