He is an equal opportunity slut.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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