just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
