i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
