Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
