Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
