What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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