mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize