Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I can't turn off my feet"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
