You work out of a Hotel?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
