I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My ass is underappreciated
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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