ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
