The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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