You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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