I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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