Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
