And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
