In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
