Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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