Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
being pregnant is like rehab
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
there is glitter all over my balls
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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