Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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